


Last christmas

by haunt1q



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, BadBoyHalo - Freeform, DNF, DreamTeam, M/M, Minecraft, Unrequited, Unrequited Love, dream - Freeform, dreamnotfound, dteam - Freeform, georgenotfound - Freeform, mlm, sapnap - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28194336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haunt1q/pseuds/haunt1q
Summary: Last christmas, I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away.Dream hated Christmas, reasonably.George was unaffected by what had happened.This was going to be a long painful week at Sapnap’s.
Kudos: 10





	1. Christmas reunion

Dream stood alone at the party, holding a cup of hot chocolate in his hand with the other on the other-side to keep it warm, next to the open door: watching the snow fall elegantly, spacing out as he watched his breath fall into the cold air, He hated christmas reasonably. Sapnap placed a hand on his shoulder, causing Dream to jump and turn to Sapnap “Oh sorry Clay, didn’t mean to scare you” Sapnap said with a chuckle, Dream just nodded “It’s fine” turning back to the door “I know you don’t like Christmas Clay.. but thanks for coming even though you don’t like the holidays, it means alot” Sapnap said kindly “For my best-friend? of course” Dream said with a smile, letting out a sigh after it. “I’ll leave you for a bit, just tell me if you need anything” I yet again nodded at his words, He left me alone, After a few minutes I heard the door open and a familiar voice, darryl was here, I turned to the door, It was Darryl and- 

And George.

Dream felt alarmed suddenly, his heart sunk seeing George, it didn’t take long before he noticed Sapnap looking at him with sorry eyes, Dream turned back around and walked outside, leaning on the porch’s fence, pouring the hot chocolate away, he did not want to see George, the thought of him made his heart ache. Tears started to prick at his eyes, the vicious burning feeling growing as his vision blurred slowly, the snow becoming a blur. The world silenced around him, his heart stopped, his lungs stopped, his breath stopped and his brain stopped... almost an euphoric sense filled his body as everything stopped, before everything came back to him after 2 long seconds of the feeling, feeling the tear fall down his raw cheek. He felt so naive and blindsided, vulnerable and hurt, he hadn’t seen George in a year, since last Christmas which is why he had grown to hate it, he hadn’t gotten over George, everyone knew because it was so obvious, his viewers also grew worried, they constantly asked about them both, like why Dream left every-time George joined VC with Sapnap and Badboyhalo. Constant dms off fans about what had gone on, after that Christmas Dream didn’t stream for about 5 months, asking Sapnap if he could tell everyone that he was fine and just needs a long break which Sapnap had kindly agreed to do for him - Dream had fallen into a woeful state ever since, he rarely left the house, barely ate, slept all the time and just cried, his family and friends got so worried about him but he sadly ignored them, his phone was pretty much always off and when he started forcing himself to stream again fans noticed his odd behaviour, which is what caused more worrying but he also ignored them too. 

He knew he was depressed but still denied it. 

He could hear George’s bittersweet voice from outside, wiping his tears with his numb fingers, hearing his laugh, his stomach twisted into a sad knot, he hated that laugh because he knew it was true, it wasn’t forced, it wasn’t fake, George lived unaffected from the break up, while Dream was slowly falling apart but he tried everything to hide it, forcing a laugh, faking a laugh, it was painful, sapnap could see it from the start and it was a painful sight... seeing his bestfriend crumble like that but he couldn’t do anything about it because Dream refused anyone’s help, he longed for his bestfriend back, he couldn’t stand the sight of Dream’s depressed look: Sapnap couldn’t stand it at all, he looked so broken when he cried and it pained his heart.

“Clay” ... “Clay” ... “Clay!”

Dream woke from his thoughts, wiping the new tears and turning to the voice, it was bad “o-oh hey Darryl” he said quickly, calming from the small fright he got. “It’s so nice to see you again! we haven’t talked in awhile, how are you?” Bad said joyfully, Dream forced a tiny chuckle and a smile “It’s nice to see you too man, yeah, sorry about that I’ve uh.. been busy? I’m fine, things have been alright” he said with a hint of uncertainty, Bad shook the awkwardness off and smiled again “Do you want to come inside? we’ve got food on the way and its cold out here and geor-“ Bad was cut off by Dream “NO.. I-i mean no, sorry haha, tired... I’m fine, I’ll come in later” Bad was taken back by Dream’s behaviour but again, shook it off “Oh okay, well we’ll be inside if you need anything” Dream nodded at bad’s words. Feeling so execrable, wanting to break down right there and then, he wished he never agreed to this but he had to stay for the rest of the few days until Christmas day.

George’s laugh filled his ears again, he felt sick, he felt his heart breaking all over again, clasping a hand over his mouth and running to the bathroom, feeling everyones eyes on him as he ran, also hearing Sapnap and Bad asking if he was okay, most importantly..... he felt George’s piercing eyes watch him. He got to the bathroom, shakily closing it and locking it, running over to the toilet and throwing up bloody flowers that attacked his lungs, that was his biggest secret, he never told Sapnap or anyone about it, having the Hanahaki Disease that he never thought he’d get, he knew it was going to kill him but that didn’t matter, he could get that surgery but he couldn’t lose that love for George, ever, as painful as it is. Blood poured from his throat, with bits of flowers, tears fell like a raging waterfall, George was literally slowly killing him, even though he didn’t know - what difference would it make though if he knew, he sat near the toilet, As much as George used him, hurt him... even as George was killing him, Dream would never stop loving him, till the day he died.

He heard a worried knock at the door, his throat was too sore to speak, he tried to go speak anyways only to start coughing up more blood and flowers “Clay? are you okay in there?” who was that? Oh, it was Wilbur “Y-yes!-.... I’m fine Wil” He painfully got out “Are you sure dude? You’re coughing a shit ton” Wilbur replied with worry “yeah, probably just a small cold or s-something ha ha” He held back another cough, feeling hazy and more nauseous “Alright, uh.. get well soon” The British man’s voice said through the door, hearing the steps go down the stairs. He started to cry again, the urge to cough falling, hating this all, the words George last said to him rang through his head, his gelid body shook violently: feeling so let down. Hugging his poor body, wishing again and again that by some miracle this would all just end but that was far from happening and he knew that. Maybe...

this was just his fate.


	2. snowy-sad encounter

I sat silently next to Skeppy and Sapnap, they were all talking about the plans, I was spaced out, my mind wandering somewhere else, forming pictures from nowhere around the room. It didn’t take long before my eyes met with a set of brown eyes that for some reason had been staring at me, I knew who the brown eyed person was, neither of us could break eye contact, a tension grew between us both, he broke eye contact when we heard a knock at the door “I’ll get it” He said to the others, getting up and heading to the door, a females voice was heard with George’s, my head turned to them, watching as they gave each-other a small kiss on the lips. My lungs lost breath suddenly, feeling the flowers building up in my throat as he brought her over to introduce us to her, my heart breaking all over again - I stood up, and walked quickly past them to the chilling outdoors, coughing up all the deadly flowers into my hand, holding my chest with my other hand, tears danced in my eyes, the snow became a blur, the cold settling into my fair skin, I felt myself fall backwards into the snow, my head hitting something hard.

My eyes opened slowly, in a void of darkness until a light came into view, it grew closer to me. It was George, he put his gentle hands on my cheeks “We can’t keep doing this” I said painfully, He leaned in, pressing our foreheads together “of course we can~” He said softly — “You aren’t real” I pulled away, he grabbed my hand “I’m real enough for you” his lips brushed against mine, his hot breath fell onto my skin, giving me goosebumps, it all felt so real and familiar. He started to fade in my arms “No! George not again!! don’t leave” I cried out, trying to hold onto him only for my arms to flail around myself as his body disappeared.

I woke up coughing, Wilbur was crouched in front of me “thank god you woke up!” his British voice rang through my head “Sap- Nick, got worried about you, wondering where you went. What happened? are you okay?” He asked me, helping me sit up “yeah... just tired” I said weakly “Yeah, I’ll believe that. It’s George isn’t it?” he asked with a pitiful smile “n-no!” I said back to the british man “I know a heartbroken guy when I see one, you’re not over him are you? I mean- no one just walks out when they see their ex kiss their new partner, or faint.....o-or have the hanahaki disease.” He said hesitantly, my eyes widened a bit “how did you k-know?” I asked him “the throwing up and coughing in the toilet, your sore sounding throat, the tiny smudge of blood on your lip and the flowers in your bloody hand” He said slowly to me, a hint of commiseration in his voice. “Please don’t tell anyone, not George.. Not bad, not even Sapnap... I can’t let them know” He was surprised by my response “But Clay... It’s gonna kill you... if you don’t do anything about it” He said sensibly, I shook my head “I-I can’t, I don’t care if it kills me...” His eyes showed pity as I spoke, He could tell I wanted to be alone “I’ll leave you be for now.. I won’t say a word, I promise. Just.. be careful Clay.” He said before getting up and going back inside, hearing him faintly say I was okay. I sat alone, in the cold snow, the whiteness reflected off my fair freckled skin, my fingers pressed into the snow numbly, I never knew a breakup could affect him this badly, to the point it was slowly killing me.

He wish he could take it all back, go back to the night they met, force himself to not catch feelings, remain friends, not ruin the wonderful thing they had. George was all the things he thought he knew and thought they could be - Dream just sat there, wallowing in his own self-pity, he pondered on what went wrong, asking himself the same question over and over again, was he at fault for his own heartbreak, despondency, anguish and desolation, Slumped in deep dejection from his own possible fault, tears welling up in his eyes yet again, dancing around with burning pain. He was shattering like glass, right in front of his friends and family, lungs clasping tight at each aching breath, a dent left in his poor old heart, loneliness swept him off his feet and cradled him. They do say misery loves company.

Utter dolour crept in through, tears sliding down his freezing cheek, the saltiness of his dreadful tear seeped into his tastebuds, distasteful. He heard the door open again, not bothering to look up to who it was, his eyes fluttered shut, hearing a light grunt and the sound of crunching snow, a figure sat next to him... a scent so familiar filling his nostrils. His eyes opened slowly, it was George, his stomach twisted horribly, his lungs threatening to cough up more flowers but he bit them back, pulling in his trembling knees and leaning his head in-between them, hiding the tears that sat on his face, an uncomfortable silence laid in the air.

“fans are worried about you...” George said hesitantly

Dream stayed in his sad position he was in, responding with a bitter, light hum, more tears fell secretly, why was George suddenly talking to him out of the blue, looking away from the brown haired boy. He could hear George take a deep breath in, as if he wanted to say something but hesitated “Dont talk much anymore...” George said slowly, his voice a bit more quieter. Dream scoffed lightly, muttering “I wonder why...” George’s head turned to Dream then back to the snow in front of them “right..” He just mumbled, silence filled the air yet again, Dream felt unsteady, ready to burst our crying next to his ex who was causing him far more pain by being in his presence. The flowers started to make its way up his throat but he swallowed them back down painfully, George sighed, glancing to Dream then away, Both of them realised each-others sweaters...

Dream was In blue.

George was In green.

Dream’s head lifted up slightly, the sweater seemed so familiar not just by the colour, the smell of Dream’s cologne drowned George, he could smell it from the 3 feet apart they were at. why? why was George wearing his sweater. Suddenly the cold embrace of the snow set into hypothermia on his delicate fingers, George couldn’t help but notice the fingers turning blue, grabbing them and holding them in his hands rubbing them slightly “you’re gonna catch a cold idiot.” George muttered.

Why?

Why was he suddenly caring

Had sapnap said something?

Had Wilbur said something?

a sharp pang of guilt appeared in Dream’s eyes as his hands shook with discomfort, George acted like nothing happened, like they were still together, like he still cared but... Dream didn’t pull away, he couldn’t, He had been yearning for George’s touch, not in a sexual manner more of just a caress of a finger, he had missed those soft finger prints that once held his hand during moments of gnawing pain dream experienced in his panic attacks. He didn’t know what to do while George warmed his hands, either blowing on them gently or rubbing them carefully, he just sat with his hands intertwined with George’s slightly, His lungs were in agony.

Thinking about all the times George fucked him over...

All the lies.

All the faking.

Yet he couldn’t stop loving George. The love was too good to lose even if it was painful and killing him. Anxiety stung his heart when he was around George, pounding loudly in his ear drums and as much as George meant the world to George... he couldn’t let himself get close to George ever again because he was scared George would leave him in the dirt again... that abandonment and betrayal was too excruciating to go through a second time, His hands slowly pulled away, looking away from George with a dismal look on his face. George had forfeit the place in Dream’s heart, Standing up with dreadful tears, George could see the heartbroken look on Dreams face, the same one from christmas day, his eyes widened slightly at the sight “cla-“ George went to say but Dream went to go inside anyway, leaving George alone in the glowing snow.

George started to feel guilty... After a year, finally speaking to his ex-lover, holding his hand again, seeing that painful look on dreams face and the glossiness in Dream’s eyes...and it only now affected him. His heart started to beat loudly, not knowing how to feel now. “I... I’m so sorry Dream. I-I...” He wanted to see Dream smile again.. laugh again, he wanted to be his friend again though a part of him knew that it was far from coming true.

Maybe one day though...


End file.
